Neopets Pose For Pornographic Websites
By: Salonius Dracul
SAN FRANCISCO, CA - A new kind of pornographic image has begun to pop up, a disgusting form of erotica known as "Neoporn." It all began when a Moehog coming home from school was picked up by a strange man in a van. He was taken to the mans private residence, where the neopet was taken pictures of in erotic poses. These pictures were later posted on Pornographic websites all over the web. Thus began a new phase in perversion.
  Since the first pictures, new images have been popping up everywhere on the internet. Almost all species of pet have been violated since that day, and even some sites containing "Pet-pet fetishes" have appeared. There has even been some "Human-pet" relations pictures.
Although some participants in the acts were willing, most were not and were either forced or coerced to.
Neopet Co-creator, Donna Williams, had this to say: "This is totally disgusting, and I do not condone activity of this kind whatsoever. We are on the way to creating a task force to help prevent this kind of thing in the future! In the mean time, just tell your pets to stay away from strangers in vans with picture taking equipment that is intended for...oh, I'm kinda gettin' off the point, huh? Anyway..."

 We managed to track down a prodigious Neoporn webmaster, who would prefer to remain known only as "Mike". Here's our conversation:

BSNews: So, Mr. Jackson, why do you take these pictures?
Mike: I told you not to call me that! Anyway, I do it cuz it makes me feel good...
BS: But doesn't it seem wrong to take pictures of innocent Neopets?
M: Innocent? Yeah right, those little B*stards ruined my life!
BS: How so?
M: Well, I started to play "Neopets" as a pastime, ya know, just for fun, but then it became more and more, and began to rule my life! I lost fortunes because of those damned "cute little innocent" neopets!
BS: So you're saying that neopets is addictive and harmful to your health?
M: I couldn't help myself!!
In conclusion, I think that all Neopets should be banned completely so as not to scar the minds of young children everywhere, especially since the Neopet website wastes many trees every day manufacturing their evil toys. In fact, I'm feeling pretty hungry...