- THORNTON - A home-schooled child in Thornton,
Colorado stuns the nation by killing his whole family. Billy
Zane Joe, a 14 year old child, took a shotgun and killed his
whole family. "He was such a smart kid," says a neighbor
to the Joes. "He was knowing that thing dey call "additionalizing"
ever since he was 13. Ya know, like 2+2 be 5." Another neighbor
was also surprised. "I never knew that someone that high
on Meth could walk, much less do that!"
- The police were unable to search his room for anything because
it was destroyed by a pipe bomb made from the tail pipe of the
family's old torn up pick-up, but they were able to salvage enough
from the room that his 16 year old sister, Tina Ann, lived in.
They found used condoms and some pornographic photos of her.
One of her boyfriends says "I never really knew the punk
too well, but he seemed nice enough. He didn't talk much, seeing
as he was mostly deaf from listening to AC/DC music at blasting
- An un-opened copy of the game "Zelda" was found
in the trailer, and the police believe it may have contributed
to his unstable mental state. Nintendo had the following comment:
"We do not believe this copy of Zelda contributed to anything
except giving us 50 more bucks."
- In his interrogation, Billy had this to say: "All of
my classmates picked on me and insulted me in the showers. I
got really sick of it, and I finally just snapped. I found my
dad's shotgun, next to his bag of crack and a pile of penthouse
magazines, and since I could not figure out how to load the shells
in, I hit them over the head with it until they died."
- Lately, a plague of home-school shootings has occurred, and
the government is taking measures to stop it. They are putting
metal detectors in every home, and banning violent video games
in all home-school environments. A home-schooled child says this:
"How am I going to get a gun into my own house anyway? I
mean, what am I going to do, go out and buy one when my parents
aren't looking?? And the violent video games have nothing to
do with the fact that I want to kill my parents!!"
- Other evidence the police discovered includes: A femal dog
impregnated by Billy, a meth lab under the trailer, and a bloody
- "All of my classmates picked
on me...I finally just snapped..."