New line of Immoral Barbies Causes uproar
Ten executives killed
By: Stan Murdoc

  CALIFORNIA - Earlier today, Mattel announced a new line of Barbies intended for a different audience of people. Called "Immoral Barbies," it is a line of barbies made especially for people with low incomes. Ths caused a major riot near their HQ in Cali. When 10 top employees of Mattel went outside to make a speech, they were immediately pummeled to death with Barbie heads. After much deliberation, Mattel decided to use their underground passages to escape to Afghanistan and used their self-destruct mechanism to destroy half of Southern Cali.
Other happenings in the US seem related to this incident, such as the burning of a "Toys-'R-Us" by local Soccer moms. Also, some Wiccas (They asked us not to call them "Satanic old hags") are doing ritual dances to cleanse the souls of the evil barbies. It turns out that they were not as powerful as the evil in the Barbies and immediately went into the business of Pornographic Videos.
We managed to get our hands on the names of some of the barbies, and they are as follows: Sorority slut, Cat burglar, Biker Barbie, Crack Whore, Stripper barbie, Porn Queen Barbie, & Spank Me Kelly. It also seems that they were planning to release a series of Immoral Kens, also. We also succeeded in getting plans of these from the rubble that was once known as "Mattel." As far as we can tell, they had plans for these: Drunk Ken, Pimp ken, Wife Beater Ken, Transvestite Ken, Pedophile Ken, Hobo Ken, In the Closet Ken, & Bill Gates.
Another feature of these barbies is a small chip in their backs that finds and steals credit card numbers for use in ATM machines. This was highly criticized by many credit card thieves for not being very comprehesinve and very faulty.
As more Evil barbies are created, it was discovered that they were actually robots that were part of Mattel's plan to take over the world, and they are assaulting San Diego as we speak. The military is planning a tactical strike that will take place Sunday.On another note, a barbie Orgy is now occurring in what was once Downtown LA.
A demonstration of the new line of Barbies.