The Dangers of Reality TV
By: Bob Smith
  LOUISIANA - Recently, my partner and good friend, Stan Murdoc was committed for a clinic dedicated to rehabilitating idiots (they prefer not to be called "flaming morons") who are addicted to reality TV. I was allowed to take a tour of the facilities, and I decided to write a story about it.
How the Addiction Began:
"At first, it started small," says Stan of his first signs of addiction. "I taped a couple episodes of MTV's Real World, I watched Temptation Island a couple times, things like that. Then I started wanting more. I started to get these needs for it. I would get up late at night and watch the same episode of Survivor over and over. At the worst point, I had taped all 400 episodes of Real World, and was still not satisfied."
Realizing He Was Addicted:
"When I started selling my crack for more Temptation Island 2, I knew something had to be done," Stan remembers. "I committed myself, because I knew I had a problem."
Stan's Therapy:
In the first stages of his therapy, Stan was forced to watch the "gay naked guy" (as Stan puts it) from the first Survivor. He was then made to watch the real world. (No not the show.) "It made me realize that life is not nearly as dramatic as on reality TV." They also made him watch someone eat a rat right next to him. "It was &*%$@# nasty! Even worse than on TV! I threw up on the spot!"
In later therapy sessions, Stan would have to watch forms of TV other than reality TV. "Whenever I wanted to watch TV, I had to watch things like Days of Our Lives and Pokemon. The lame acting almost broke me on the spot." He then had to go 1 week without any TV at all. "I was heard saying things like 'C'mon, nurse, I need my fix! I'll do anything! You can't cut me off like this!' It was pathetic. Once the cravings subsided, I had to do other things for entertainment, like pahrcheesi and poker."
In the last stage, he was left alone with a TV, a a TV guide, and a book for three hours. "I almost broke down and watched Murder In Small Town X, but I managed to resist. I picked up the book, and read for three straight hours, without having the temptation again!"
After that, they allowed him to get on the internet, but blocked all sites about Reality TV. "I was surprised that they allowed me to look at porn, but not survivor."
Stan's life has been forever changed by this series of events, and it has left a permanent scar. "I can't be around people who watch reality TV anymore. Luckily, Bob thinks it's stupid, or I would have had to stop being near him. I couldn't have gotten through this without him, too. He was very supportive and helpful."
All in all, I can see no benefits in Reality TV whatsoever. Some people claim that it is a way to relax after work, or they just watch it on the side, but most people who watch become addicts for life. Stan's message to the world: "Don't watch Reality TV, take it from me, it's NOT a good thing! Also, do not submit to peer pressure, it can get you in big trouble or an institute!" So that's it folks, from a man who has been there and back.