Steve Madden Accused of Illegal Psychic Advertisement

By: Beufred Beaubouts

       East Hampton, New York- On Saturday, Steve Madden, a well known Shoe Designer, was let out on bail for the use of illegal psychic sales representation. He was said to have used his psychic powers on young teenage girls to buy his tacky shoes. Former Cheerleader, Cherry Garcia says "I used to buy his stupid shoes, hating them all the while, and then, like, when I lost my, like, status as cheerleader, I, like, stopped buying his awful shoes. This has, like, led me to believe that he, like, hypnotized me, cause whenever ever I saw his commercials, I, like, had this sudden urge to buy a million dollars worth of shoes." Madden has no comment. There are other cases too. "I used to get headaches suddenly while watching TV, and then I'd find myself at the mall with bags full of Madden's shoes, and I wouldn't remember a thing." says Bunny O'Hare. Even one of the Jurors at his trial said when they were watching his advertisements she had this sudden urge to buy his shoes. She said the sudden urge wouldn't surprise her if she was the only one but everyone else in the room had that same feeling, even the audience had left to buy shoes. At the trial when Madden was sworn in at the witness stand, his right hand lit up the bible caught fire. When the judge pronounced Madden's sentence, he started to mumble Latin and made the security guard float in the air. Once bail was set, a young teenage girl, under the influence of Madden, paid for his freedom and then proceeded to buy his whole line of Platform Sandles and Zebra print Flip-Flops. Two days later she was found dead wearing one of each of the styles on her feet and hands. There was also a note beside her that read: "I have become the slave of Madden's influencing ways and can no longer afford it. After buying his way out and paying for his whole line of shoes, I have become broke and can no longer live. I don't know if it is that man, Steve Madden, who is making me take my own life or if I have just gone mad. Either way I can't continue in this cruel world." "I never am going to be duped into buying trashy shoes from him again." says Bunny O'Hare.

 Madden using his psychic powers

"I have become the slave of Madden's influencing ways..."